That was me. Fresh off the plane and straight into a California office.
My American teammates were just being nice.
“Hey, we’re grabbing lunch — wanna join?”
And I, without hesitation, smiled and said:
“No-no-no!”
Polite, firm, clear.
At least… that’s what I thought.

Where I come from, saying “no” is normal. It doesn’t mean you’re rude, upset, or closing a door forever. It just means “No, thank you.”
But in California? The word no carries much more weight. It can sound cold. Dismissive. Even a little aggressive.
How often do you actually hear people say just “no” in casual conversation here?
Not very.

Here’s what “no” looks like in California:

• “I’m good, thanks.”
• “Maybe another time.”
• “I’ll pass.”
• “Not really my thing.”
• “Thanks, but I have other plans.”
• “Oh that’s interesting… I’ll think about it.”
• “Actually… I’m gonna skip this one.”
• And the classic: “Thanks for thinking of me!” (which is often a polite no in disguise)

And here’s the thing:
If someone says “No, thank you”, it often means your offer missed the mark — maybe even made them uncomfortable.
If they say just “No”, it usually means the conversation is over.

So when I said “No-no-no” to a friendly lunch invite, I wasn’t just declining.
I was shutting down the vibe.
Can you imagine their faces?

That was one of my first lessons in cross-cultural communication. And I carry it with me now, not only at work, but in public speaking, team building, and every new room I walk into.

When you go international, even if it’s just across an ocean or a time zone, keep in mind:
Words carry culture.
Tone carries meaning.
And your “no” might mean a lot more than you think.